Asshole Drinking Game

The Asshole drinking game is a drinking card game, most notably renown in the college party community. It's played by at least 3 players, and with more players, the funner it gets!

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GAME RULES

The objective of this drinking game is to get rid of all of your cards quicker than your opponents, in order to become the 'President' in the next round... or at least to prevent yourself from becoming 'Asshole'. :p

To start it off, deal out all the cards to everyone at the table. This initial round will determine everyone's ranking, from the 'President' on down, for the next round. One player starts by laying down any card or set of cards they wish (usually their worst card) face up in the middle of the table. Then the next person in the rotation lays down an equal or greater value card(s) on top. Then the next player does the same, and so on and so on, until all the cards have been played out.

The value of the cards are as follows:

Single card	Ace is the highest, and the value follows on down from there to King, Queen, Jack, 10, 9, etc.
Two of a kind	Any 'pair' (two of a kind) is higher than any single card (ie - two 10's are higher than an Ace).
Three of a kind	'Trips' are higher than any pair.
Four of a kind	'Quads' are higher than any trips; and if you're lucky enough to ever get quads, you should actually make a special rule* for it. (See the Special Rules section below)
Exceptions to the rule	'2' (the clear card) can be laid down on top of any card or set of cards (it's exempt from the order of value). A single '2' will clear the pile of cards and that player who set the clear card gets to start things off again with any card(s) they wish. Other exceptions... Any other specified cards with special rules attached.

If the same card is thrown down consecutively (by the 2 previous players), then the next player in line is skipped and must drink (ie - if the player before you lays down a King and you also lay down a King, then the player after you is skipped and must take a swig). Also, if you can't make a play with any of your cards (with no higher card, set, or 'clear card'), then you've got to skip and take a drink.

All the cards in the middle are cleared if everyone has to skip or a '2' is used to clear the deck. Then it starts again, and it continues on like this until there's only the Asshole left with cards.

HIERARCHY RANKING

First player to get rid of all their cards become the President for the next round, the second player is vice-president, and so on kinda like this...

• President
• Vice-President
• Treasurer
• Secretary
• Clerk
• Asshole
• (fill in or take out positions as needed)

You can use military ranks, presidential succession, ancient social classes, whatever, but Asshole is always on the bottom.

The Asshole gets to do all the dirty work and gets penalized in various ways for the next round, while the President sits on top of the food chain and garners all the benefits. Anyone who outranks you can tell you to drink as often as they want you to and whenever they want you to. So the Asshole is pretty much screwed by everybody... but beware, things can change in subsequent rounds and payback can be a bitch if you've been picking on lower seeds too much. :P

SPECIAL RULES

There are SOOO many different house rules in this game, it's recauculous! Every party you go to, every Asshole game you play, you will run into different rules, so be sure to straighten some of 'em out before the game... because I assure you, the way they play will be different than the way you play!

Here are some of the more frequently used rules (but use whatever you wish)...

• The Asshole is also the beer-bitch. Anyone who needs a drink or re-fill, the Asshole has to serve them.


• The Asshole must deal the cards and also 'clear' the cards when needed. If a pile of cards needs to be cleared and the Asshole is too slow or forgot, then anyone can start counting out loud "one-one thousand, two-one thousand, three-one thousand..." however many seconds have been counted out out-loud, that's how many drinks the Asshole has to drink.


• The Asshole has to exchange his 2 best cards for the 2 worst cards of the President.


• While the Asshole is dealing, they can tell anyone to take a drink. Their only chance for retribution as an Asshole.


• Change the order of seats, so that the President starts first and the Asshole is last.


• '3' (or a numbered card equal to the number of players in the game, generally 3-8) is a 'social'. When it's played, all the players must drink. This card can be played on any card or combination of cards (just like the '2'). Multiple 'socials' can be played at once or consecutively. The following player then plays based on the card or set of cards that was played before the 'social'.


• '4' is 'reverse'. If anyone plays a 4, then the turn reverses direction and the player that went before you gets to go again. Multiple 4's can be played at once - a pair of 4's would continue the turn in the same original direction and triple 4s would be a normal 'reverse'.


• Three cards of the same kind played in a row or by one player with three of a kind also calls for a 'social'. (ie - if 3 people consecutively lay down 9, 9, 9... or if one person lays down three 9's... they both call for a 'social')


• Another 'social' can occur when a player is able to complete a four of a kind on the board by 'jumping in' out of turn. For example, if 2 Jacks have just been laid down, and you have the other 2 Jacks, then you can just 'jump in', regardless of your position, and lay down your 2 Jacks to complete a running 4 of a kind. The result would be the social, where everyone drinks, AND the cards are actually cleared to the player who 'jumped in'. So they get to start it off again (if they have any cards left of course). This is why it's important to pay attention, because this is a great way to lose a ton of cards fast. This type of social only applies if you're able to compete the 4 card set in time... if the next player laid down a card, it's already too late.


• *(New addition) One player with all four of a kind trumps the current hierarchy! Anyone who busts out quads on the table automatically becomes El Presidente for the round and negates the current class ranking (everyone else all become Assholes to do the President's bidding)... if you were already the president, then your quads automatically end the round, and you're president again for the next round... in addition, you're also obliged to make everyone else chug their drink (and last one to finish is automatically the Asshole for the next round). :P (Still not enough? Create some new punishments to dole out for this rare feat.)


• Presidents can create a new rule before beginning the next round (or if you wanna limit the craziness... you can make it so that only if the President remains President for three consecutive rounds can create a new rule). The new rule can be any of the above rules not in use already, or any other bonus rule, like the following...


• You can't say the word 'drink', otherwise you yourself have to drink. This is one of the funniest rules! People get drunk and totally forget about this rule all the time... then everybody gets even more shitfaced by telling each other to 'drink'!


• Deuces are wild. Instead of clearing the deck, 2's count as 'wild cards' that can be used as any card.


• Presidents can call a 'board meeting'. Everyone starts drinking and is not allowed to stop drinking until the person above them in rank stops drinking (ie - the VP cannot stop until the President stops, the Treasurer can't stop until the VP stops, etc). Only the President can call a board meeting.


• New designated cards with rules... like 'King' for all the guys drinks, 'Queen' for all the girls, etc... there's all kinds of games and rules you can tap into for inspiration on this.

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